The first basic human need is connection, or in other words, relationships that are consistent, predictable, and supportive. 

Modern neuroscience indicates that when kids don't feel accepted by the adults who care for them, a stress response is triggered in their brains, making it hard for the part of their brain that handles learning, problem-solving, emotional regulation, planning, and attention to work well. 

This means that if we ask kids to behave well, set goals, pay attention, and figure things out, our first priority should be to ensure they aren't operating from a place of fear or anxiety. 

Unfortunately, many of our current educational practices make it difficult for adults to prioritize relationships that are based on performance or behavior.

Our educational system is rooted in comparison, and things like grades, curriculum schedules, and group pacing tend to encourage adults to withhold connection (our warmth and approval) until kids perform and behave. This, ironically, makes it difficult for those kids who are struggling to perform and behave because they are in a state of nervous system alarm and need our warmth and connection to calm their brains down.

Imagine you've experienced a near-car accident. Your heart is racing, your eyes are dilated, and someone approaches you with a geometry problem they need you to solve. How are you going to perform on that task? Likely not as well as you would if your nervous system was calm. 

If we step back and refocus on cultivating connection, we can create learning environments and relationships that allow students to come to the learning table feeling calm and supported while maintaining high expectations of them. 

After you set up your Prenda World account and have access to our step-by-step training, we'll share more about the science behind adult-child relationships and how to build a culture of connection in your microschool.

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